07.21.01

the problem is, in order to write, you have to have a voice.

in order to have a voice, you have to trust that you have something valuable to say.

in order to trust that you have something valuable to say, you have to trust that you are,in fact, a valuable person.

about 85% of the time, i trust that i'm a valuable person. we just happen to be going through one of those 15% of the times where i don't.

and so i chew on my nails and fill up pages with drivel and think about what it is that i really have to say.

and until i pass through this rough patch of the 15%, i continue to decrease in mass as some sort of cause-effect relationship.

i can't write and so i starve. i starve so that i can't write. i'm starving for words. my writing is starved.

?

and so i fall back to that safe occupation of the starved writer, of the scared writer...i read. mary oliver and margaret atwood and trinh t minh ha and natalie goldberg and maya angelou and audre lorde and adrienne rich and dorothy allison...but while they can touch my heart and nourish me through their language, they can't give me my voice back.

only i can.

***

xoxo,

moonbird

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