04.18.01

i need an affirmation, and how.

somebody tell me that i can make things happen, all by myself. that i don't need someone to hold my hand. that i am a rock, not a piece of driftwood. that i can navigate the world by myself just fine.

that if i want to move halfway across the country to a place with mostly minimum wage jobs, knowing no one and nothing except that there is magic there and i felt it and it was real...that i can do it. with or without anybody else.

tell me.

because i am having doubts.

can i really just up and leave the world as i know it in the dust, leave everything, because i have the nerve to think that i can write? will that knowledge desert me when i have arrived, my life stuffed into the corners of a subaru, and there are no arms to welcome me? will words fail me, will i fall into a black hole of depression, despite the sage and the sun and the circles?

where did i get this idea, anyway, that i could be a writer?

certainly nobody told me.

maybe i don't need an affirmation.

maybe what i need is a reality check.

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xoxo,

moonbird

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